We're MOVING!

Hello out there big world!

Well, our word of the year for 2016 was "BRAVE" and that we were.  We traveled, crossed some things on our bucket list, started a new LLC and launched the Lotus Project nationally. Please visit us at http://thelotusproject.us and sign up for our new blog posts and other goodies through that site.

May 2017 bring you love and light!
LaRissa Paras

Reporting Sexual Assault

As an adult in the world it has come to my attention that some seemingly basic ideas like reporting sexual assault are not known to all of our young people.  So, here's the info if you or someone you know needs it.  Save the hotline number in your phone in the event of an emergency.  Hopefully, you will never need it.

1. It is a survivor’s right to report.  Reporting an assault may also help others that have been assaulted.  Reporting can also aid in one’s own recovery.

2. If you are in immediate danger or seriously injured, call 911.

3. Safety first.  Are you in a safe place? If you do not feel safe, find a person you can trust so that you are not alone.

4. Do not blame yourself.  You did not want this to happen.  What happened to you is NOT okay.

5. You have options.  You can…

• Contact Local Law Enforcement

-OR-

• Visit a Local Hospital or Medical Center (these places will provide free exams)

-OR-

• Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1800-656-HOPE (4673)  If you call this number, you will be connected to a LOCAL provider in your area.  They will direct you from there.

DID YOU KNOW?

According the the National Sexual Violence and Resource Center...

• 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18.

• 1 in 5 women and 1 in 16 men are sexually assaulted while in college.

• 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men are raped at some point in their lives.

  SEEK HELP IF YOU NEED IT. SUPPORT EACH OTHER.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

"You become what you believe." Oprah

If you are constantly bombarded with the same message you start to believe it.  Let's make the messages positive.  

We are frequently shown the "perfect" man or woman in the media.  We are told by the people around us to act a certain way.  We put insane expectations upon ourselves.  All of this can be overwhleming.  

When we talk to ourselves we need to remind ourselves that WE ARE ENOUGH.  We need to fuel ourselves and the people around us with positive messages to become our best selves.  We do not need to be perfect to be great.  And we shouldn't expect others to be perfect either. 

So, do yourself a favor.  Speak kindly to yourself and to the people around you.  Start believing in the goodness of yourself and of each other. 

Be Brave

Sometimes when we think of being brave, we think of putting our physical selves in harms way.  Sometimes that is true.  But sometimes being brave is taking a healthy risk... like starting a new business or traveling to a new place or even trying a new food.  That's my mantra right now... BE BRAVE.

LP

Words...

Sometimes the words we use in our slang have origins that are far from their current intent. For example, there was a time in the early 90s when "bad" was "good" and sometimes when someone has a good performance you'll hear the exclamation, "I destroyed it!".... And the one that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, rape.

Rape.  Rape is unlawful sexual intercourse or other bodily penetration of another person without consent of the victim.

Sometimes I hear people use this word to mean they feel cheated, swindled, or taken advantage of. This is not rape.  This is being cheated, swindled or taken advantage of.  When you use the word rape in place of what you really mean, two things are happening.

1. You are taking a horrifying traumatic event that effects roughly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men (2015) and belittling it.  When you misuse the word you are making it seem like an everyday, annoying nuisance.  You are taking something serious and making light of it.  It is hurtful, even if it's not intentional.  And you never know who is around that has experienced this.  Rape is not something that people tend to announce, like pregnancy or heaven forbid, cancer.

2. You are hurting yourself and lowering your ability to empathize.  When you use a phrase like "I got raped" when referencing a recent exam and not an actual rape, eventually you will see rape as "not a big deal."  When someone at some point in your life confides in you about being raped or you see a news program about it or it's part of a movie, you may be less empathetic.  You may think this is not a big deal.  If you are having a hard time wrapping your brain around this, try this mental exercise: Imagine your sister, wife, boyfriend, son, cousin, basically someone you care deeply about and imagine him or her being pinned down and fighting to keep an aggressor from sexually assaulting him or her.  How we use the word rape matters.  It truly effects people.

Words matter.  How they are used matters. They can lift people up, inspire, or bring people down. So instead of using  the word rape when you're annoyed by something, let's try something else.

Robbed
Cheated
Swindled
Taken advantage of
Beaten
Overcharged
Deceived
Milked
Missed the boat
Fell short
Annoyed

In short, think before you speak.  Be well, LP

Need more information? Click here for the National Sexual Violence Resource Center or RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network.)

Beauty by Stephanie Baar

 

beauty

noun beau·ty \ˈbyü-tē\

: the quality of being physically attractive

: the qualities in a person or a thing that give pleasure to the senses or the mind

: a beautiful woman

Above is the definition of beauty from the Merriam-Webster dictionary. I tend to think of beauty more along the lines of the second definition. The other two certainly follow society’s ideas of beauty, but not what I’ve found for myself.

I’ve found beauty in a lot of things. I’ve found that whenever somebody is talking about something they’re really passionate about, something that excites them, and they’re just rambling on and making hand gestures with their eyes lit up, that it’s just genuinely so beautiful and it makes me smile.

I’m currently taking a class called “Introduction to Greek Art and Archaeology”, which sounds weird, yes, and I’m really just taking it as a humanities class. I didn’t enter the class thinking I was going to enjoy it, and I don’t really. It’s not something I’m especially passionate about, but my professor is. She an older, British woman with graying hair and wrinkles. She’s not somebody society would consider especially beautiful, but I would disagree. She knows so much about the subject and loves to talk about it, and just smiles and cracks jokes that none of us understand, but laugh at anyways. She goes off on tangents and makes all these hand gestures, and just really, genuinely enjoys the subject and it’s the cutest thing ever. Sometimes I just find myself smiling during lecture because it’s amazing to watch the way in which she so obviously enjoys what she does. It’s beautiful, and I wish everybody felt that way about what they do, because I think that would just make the world so much better.

I never used to believe that “it’s what’s inside that matters!”, but it really, really is. There’s nothing wrong with finding some people more attractive than others, that’s completely normal. However, I’ve found that the people I surround myself with, who are so amazing and wonderful, are the most beautiful to me even if they’re not physically perfect. Their personalities and just them being themselves makes me so happy, and I think that’s what beauty is to me. Happiness is beautiful, whether it be other people or myself.

I think that if I were to tell my past self this, I would be really surprised as I used to think more along the lines of the first and third definitions. I’m sure a lot of people do think that way, and I don’t want to fault them for that, but I just don’t see it that way. I really think the most beautiful things are what make us different and happy. I would hate for everybody to be the same, and I think that would take a lot of beauty away from the world.

I Want Us All To Succeed. Why doesn't everyone want this?

October 26, 2015

I am not competitive. Okay, I am sometimes competitive.  The person I compete with the most is myself.  I'm constantly trying to improve, do it better than the last time, be more creative than the last time.

Fall 1993

This weekend I was able to celebrate a competitive achievement that I helped accomplish over 21 years ago.  This past weekend I was honored with my team as we were inducted into the Otsego County Sports Hall of Fame.  Why?  Because in 1994 we worked our tails off to become the Class B State Champions in Competitive Cheer.  We were the first team from our high school to earn such a title.  This was a HUGE deal for us and our community in 1994 and was a pretty big deal this past weekend.

Now, what I was (not so delicately) reminded of this weekend was that I was an alternate.  You know... I was on the team, worked with the team, learned all routines-each person's specific role, stepped into spots, helped coach watch for precision inaccuracies, etc.  Not just a cheerleader's cheerleader, but I did that, too. I laughed with this team, cried with this team, fought for this team, celebrated with this team.  But, during competitions, I "sat the bench."  Now, most of the time, I don't think about this.  Because I was there.  I almost always felt like I was part of the team.  Most of the girls never made me feel like I wasn't important.  My coach didn't either.  I sometimes didn't feel as important, but that is (unfortunately) the nature of being a teenage girl.  (And, I would be lying if I said I never cried over being an alternate.) We sometimes only have a narrow point of view when we are young and that view is "all about me".

As the past twenty-ish years have gone on, I usually only remember the good.  My mind is pretty good like that.  (Thank goodness!)   So, as a couple of grown women tried to make me feel bad this weekend, I got to thinking.  I want us all to succeed.  ALL OF US.  I compete with myself to bring my best to the table as much as possible.  I want all of us - men and women alike - to bring our best and be a success.  It never occurred to me that people might want to use this experience to reignite old wounds. It blows my mind how adults still try to tear one another down.  For what?  Maybe people are very insecure and it makes them feel better.  Maybe the hurt and anger is holding them back from being  their best selves.  I'm not really sure.   I do know that I see this in my high school students and they must learn it from somewhere.  The adults.

These ladies are definitely top notch! 

So, if you are an adult (or not) please be aware of how you treat the people around you.  Not just the little people you might take care of, your good friends, or your significant other.  Be mindful of how you treat the people that might not mean as much to you like the woman at the check out counter, the waiter, your old teammate from high school, your current peers.  Be mindful of how you speak about them once you leave their vicinity.  The young people in your life are indeed watching and learning from you.  Be the example of kindness, compassion and looking at the world from a perspective that is not yours.

And if you're feeling like the world is throwing lemons your way, rise above to the best of your ability.  Attitude is everything.  Let's build each other up instead of tearing each other down. And in the words of my wise mother, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

With the utmost desire for all of your successes - small and great... LP