Words...

Sometimes the words we use in our slang have origins that are far from their current intent. For example, there was a time in the early 90s when "bad" was "good" and sometimes when someone has a good performance you'll hear the exclamation, "I destroyed it!".... And the one that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, rape.

Rape.  Rape is unlawful sexual intercourse or other bodily penetration of another person without consent of the victim.

Sometimes I hear people use this word to mean they feel cheated, swindled, or taken advantage of. This is not rape.  This is being cheated, swindled or taken advantage of.  When you use the word rape in place of what you really mean, two things are happening.

1. You are taking a horrifying traumatic event that effects roughly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men (2015) and belittling it.  When you misuse the word you are making it seem like an everyday, annoying nuisance.  You are taking something serious and making light of it.  It is hurtful, even if it's not intentional.  And you never know who is around that has experienced this.  Rape is not something that people tend to announce, like pregnancy or heaven forbid, cancer.

2. You are hurting yourself and lowering your ability to empathize.  When you use a phrase like "I got raped" when referencing a recent exam and not an actual rape, eventually you will see rape as "not a big deal."  When someone at some point in your life confides in you about being raped or you see a news program about it or it's part of a movie, you may be less empathetic.  You may think this is not a big deal.  If you are having a hard time wrapping your brain around this, try this mental exercise: Imagine your sister, wife, boyfriend, son, cousin, basically someone you care deeply about and imagine him or her being pinned down and fighting to keep an aggressor from sexually assaulting him or her.  How we use the word rape matters.  It truly effects people.

Words matter.  How they are used matters. They can lift people up, inspire, or bring people down. So instead of using  the word rape when you're annoyed by something, let's try something else.

Robbed
Cheated
Swindled
Taken advantage of
Beaten
Overcharged
Deceived
Milked
Missed the boat
Fell short
Annoyed

In short, think before you speak.  Be well, LP

Need more information? Click here for the National Sexual Violence Resource Center or RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network.)