Beauty by Stephanie Baar

 

beauty

noun beau·ty \ˈbyü-tē\

: the quality of being physically attractive

: the qualities in a person or a thing that give pleasure to the senses or the mind

: a beautiful woman

Above is the definition of beauty from the Merriam-Webster dictionary. I tend to think of beauty more along the lines of the second definition. The other two certainly follow society’s ideas of beauty, but not what I’ve found for myself.

I’ve found beauty in a lot of things. I’ve found that whenever somebody is talking about something they’re really passionate about, something that excites them, and they’re just rambling on and making hand gestures with their eyes lit up, that it’s just genuinely so beautiful and it makes me smile.

I’m currently taking a class called “Introduction to Greek Art and Archaeology”, which sounds weird, yes, and I’m really just taking it as a humanities class. I didn’t enter the class thinking I was going to enjoy it, and I don’t really. It’s not something I’m especially passionate about, but my professor is. She an older, British woman with graying hair and wrinkles. She’s not somebody society would consider especially beautiful, but I would disagree. She knows so much about the subject and loves to talk about it, and just smiles and cracks jokes that none of us understand, but laugh at anyways. She goes off on tangents and makes all these hand gestures, and just really, genuinely enjoys the subject and it’s the cutest thing ever. Sometimes I just find myself smiling during lecture because it’s amazing to watch the way in which she so obviously enjoys what she does. It’s beautiful, and I wish everybody felt that way about what they do, because I think that would just make the world so much better.

I never used to believe that “it’s what’s inside that matters!”, but it really, really is. There’s nothing wrong with finding some people more attractive than others, that’s completely normal. However, I’ve found that the people I surround myself with, who are so amazing and wonderful, are the most beautiful to me even if they’re not physically perfect. Their personalities and just them being themselves makes me so happy, and I think that’s what beauty is to me. Happiness is beautiful, whether it be other people or myself.

I think that if I were to tell my past self this, I would be really surprised as I used to think more along the lines of the first and third definitions. I’m sure a lot of people do think that way, and I don’t want to fault them for that, but I just don’t see it that way. I really think the most beautiful things are what make us different and happy. I would hate for everybody to be the same, and I think that would take a lot of beauty away from the world.

I Want Us All To Succeed. Why doesn't everyone want this?

October 26, 2015

I am not competitive. Okay, I am sometimes competitive.  The person I compete with the most is myself.  I'm constantly trying to improve, do it better than the last time, be more creative than the last time.

Fall 1993

This weekend I was able to celebrate a competitive achievement that I helped accomplish over 21 years ago.  This past weekend I was honored with my team as we were inducted into the Otsego County Sports Hall of Fame.  Why?  Because in 1994 we worked our tails off to become the Class B State Champions in Competitive Cheer.  We were the first team from our high school to earn such a title.  This was a HUGE deal for us and our community in 1994 and was a pretty big deal this past weekend.

Now, what I was (not so delicately) reminded of this weekend was that I was an alternate.  You know... I was on the team, worked with the team, learned all routines-each person's specific role, stepped into spots, helped coach watch for precision inaccuracies, etc.  Not just a cheerleader's cheerleader, but I did that, too. I laughed with this team, cried with this team, fought for this team, celebrated with this team.  But, during competitions, I "sat the bench."  Now, most of the time, I don't think about this.  Because I was there.  I almost always felt like I was part of the team.  Most of the girls never made me feel like I wasn't important.  My coach didn't either.  I sometimes didn't feel as important, but that is (unfortunately) the nature of being a teenage girl.  (And, I would be lying if I said I never cried over being an alternate.) We sometimes only have a narrow point of view when we are young and that view is "all about me".

As the past twenty-ish years have gone on, I usually only remember the good.  My mind is pretty good like that.  (Thank goodness!)   So, as a couple of grown women tried to make me feel bad this weekend, I got to thinking.  I want us all to succeed.  ALL OF US.  I compete with myself to bring my best to the table as much as possible.  I want all of us - men and women alike - to bring our best and be a success.  It never occurred to me that people might want to use this experience to reignite old wounds. It blows my mind how adults still try to tear one another down.  For what?  Maybe people are very insecure and it makes them feel better.  Maybe the hurt and anger is holding them back from being  their best selves.  I'm not really sure.   I do know that I see this in my high school students and they must learn it from somewhere.  The adults.

These ladies are definitely top notch! 

So, if you are an adult (or not) please be aware of how you treat the people around you.  Not just the little people you might take care of, your good friends, or your significant other.  Be mindful of how you treat the people that might not mean as much to you like the woman at the check out counter, the waiter, your old teammate from high school, your current peers.  Be mindful of how you speak about them once you leave their vicinity.  The young people in your life are indeed watching and learning from you.  Be the example of kindness, compassion and looking at the world from a perspective that is not yours.

And if you're feeling like the world is throwing lemons your way, rise above to the best of your ability.  Attitude is everything.  Let's build each other up instead of tearing each other down. And in the words of my wise mother, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

With the utmost desire for all of your successes - small and great... LP

Collaborating Creative Women!

October 14, 2015

Working with the young women of the Lotus Project never ceases to amaze me.  In our third small group meeting of the year, we developed a short program to do with the elementary school and their program called, Project BLOOM.

These girls brainstormed problems young women faced and how they could best mentor the young ones and steer them in the right direction.  They fed off of each other's energy in such a beautiful way!  It reminded me how vital collaboration skills are and how important it is to listen to everyone.  And it left me inspired.

Learning from the people around me and sharing a common goal makes my heart happy!

Year In Review: Lotus Project 2014-2015

As the school year comes to a close, I am so excited to see the success of the Lotus Project on my girls.  This project is my heart and a lot of time, love and effort goes into it.  To see it embraced and well received by so many young ladies is a true gift.  It takes bravery to start something new and the LP was definitely a brand new adventure for these young women.  These girls are strong!  They are stronger than they know and I hope they continue to uncover this strength.

This school year we had two full sessions.  We worked with a group of sophomore girls in the fall and a group of freshmen in the spring.  Each session had small group activities led by a teacher-mentor.  For a six week session we met weekly to work through curriculum on topics like health, relationships, confidence, relational aggression, gratitude, "putting your best self forward" and goal setting.  We also did weekly journaling and reflection.  And lots of talking!  Developing personal relationships with the girls was the most important and rewarding part of program.  Throughout the entire year, I also had a small group of seniors that acted as mini-mentors and assistants to me.  We did many of the same activities as the underclassmen but we also focused on their needs as seniors embarking on the next chapter of their lives.

In the fall, some of our special activities included:

• Volunteering at the IM3rdMeal Campaign.  We made and packaged sack lunches for kids in our area who might not normally get a third meal of the day.  
  
• Skyped with fashion photographer, author and philanthropist...Nigel Barker!  He spoke with us on true beauty - INNER BEAUTY - and really made an impact on the girls.  
  
• Thought Design!  We spent a day learning at Thought Design in Rockford, MI.  We took a yoga class, learned about healthy stress reduction (including "throwing away" the negative elements in our lives that we later burned in a barrel), had a groove dance session and cooked a full meal FROM SCRATCH.  Some of the girls had never cooked natural food from scratch before.  It was an amazing adventure.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• "Putting Your Best Self Forward" - We had experts from Genesis Salon and Day Spa come in and teach us how to take care of our skin, how to apply make up and create fun hair styles.  Then we had the professional photographer, Beth Hallock, come in for a photo shoot.  It was a good bonding afternoon and our experts made us feel like rock stars!
   
  Spring Session was also great with the freshmen set!
  
  
  • In order to team build and get to know each other  we had an adventure at ARTengage where we took healthy risks (well, for the non artists anyway) and painted a Lotus Flower under the guidance of a pro.  
  • We had a great adventure at the GR downtown YMCA in May.   We did a yoga session, some inner reflection activities, a groove session, had lunch, created art, at played in the pool.  This was a great day to bond with our mentors and dig a little deeper into our best selves.  Words can't express how amazing this was!
  • During Health Week (both sessions) we had many guest speakers, including doctors, nutritionists, peer resistance professionals, and two sessions with Ms. Emily Smith, Miss Pride of the Peninsulas.  She informed us about the importance of mental health and we even ended up raising some funds for the Stomp Out Stigma walk to bring awareness to mental health.  (A few of us participated!)  Our second session with her was about skin care, hair care, age appropriate make up and dressing for our body types.  We also had games and samples.  This second session really put some smiles on the girls faces.   
    
    
    
    
    
    
  
  Senior Girls!
  
  • The seniors this year were able to do a little more volunteering.  In the fall we traveled to a local elementary school and worked with little girls. We did esteem building activities and had a great time girl bonding!  We also volunteered to help at the St. Mary's "Runway on the Rapids" which is a fashion show to help raise money and awareness for Muscular Dystrophy.  We ended up being gifted tickets to the event and we donated our own money at our first (amazing) fashion show!  We plan on contacting this group again for other volunteer opportunities.  
  
  Thanks for a great year ladies!  Mentors, couldn't have done it without you!  LP
  

Leading By Example

We are always asking the girls to look within to find their true heart and best self. We are always trying to lead by example and show the girls that reaching out to others is a way to also make our own hearts happy. 

This past week I was given an honor. I had a young lady name me as her hero for an assignment for English class. In front of her peers she gave a presentation where she said things like...

...compassionate

...leader

...focused

What an honor! Now, these are things I am always striving to do. I never quite feel like I'm there. I still never quite feel like it's enough. But, I will keep fighting the good fight. And leading by example. 

This is what we need to do. Lead by example. If you don't want people to talk behind your back, stop doing it to others. Want friends? Be a friend. Tired of talking about weight? Be the first to stop and make the point to others around you. 

In the Lotus Project we're trying to develop a culture of sisterhood. We need to lead the movement by setting the example and telling our story. We need to encourage the same in our friends, sisters, brothers, fathers and mothers. 

Be the change, LP

Check your mirror...

.We look in the mirror and too often critique what we see. It's hard not to. Today, I asked my LP girls to describe the women they know that are beautiful. We talked about how the beautiful women were compassionate, strong, gracious, funny, confident, and smart. The way they carried themselves and treated others was what made them beautiful. Then, I asked them to look in a mirror and describe how they were important and beautiful. (And yes, I did it, too. One must lead by example even when it's hard.)

Looking in a mirror and telling yourself good things is HARD. And important. Not to do in a "Look at me! I'm so hot! Let's take too many selfies" way, but in a genuine way. Not just what you like about your appearance, but what you like about your humanity and character. A positive, genuine reflection on all you contribute to the world is so important. It reminds of our value to ourselves and the people around us. 

Part of being compassionate needs to start within. If we are kind to ourselves we'll be kinder to the people around us. My senior quote (20 years ago! Yikes!) was, "the beauty in our hearts transforms the world around us." It may sound cliche but it is timeless and holds true. Our inner beauty is what makes us beautiful and does transform the lives of those around us. Start it up again by looking in the mirror and reminding yourself how much you matter and of all of the things that make you special, strong and wonderful.

LP

The picture below is of some of my beautiful lovelies. We were describing the beautiful women that we are, that we know, and what we will continue to strive to become.

Healthy Relationships

How we interact with each other is so important to our growth.  Here's a view of last year's presentation.  Healthy Relationships Prezi